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This is quite simple, depression is universal, pain is constant! Thinking of Gerry Ryans passing some time ago now is the catalyst for this article, loneliness is all consuming, insidious, and parasitic! We are all human, and we all love, hate, and are indifferent to circumstances in our lives. I am single, sometimes lonely and often miserable, sometimes in a place of self hatred, loneliness and isolation, I wish some woman would tolerate and love me, but that’s unlikely, I have found myself to be in a situation where I would not expect that of any woman. I am difficult, set in my ways and down when my son is not with me, even if only for a few days, I always try to be a good Father when he is with me, but when he is not around it is very difficult.
I am not clinically depressed but I am miserable on occasion as many people are, silently getting on with things. I am dead inside a lot of the time, many people are, they do not seek help or medication and they are probably right, both options are not always the answer for people, to have someone to talk to is often enough to get through a difficult week! Gerry Ryans footprints are not ones I know, but I work in media and have for a long time, I can imagine that since his breakup his footprints were quite like mine and the lives of many people who are absent from their children for whatever reason.
Sometimes I don’t talk to people unless I have to, even though I love conversation, I walk home, open the door, and inhale the isolation of my son not being there. No, woman, no comfort, no joy, misery is every lonely key turn! And that is what it is for so many people, my home is an isolated lonely, comfortable cell! I sit here most times wondering, when the misery will end and the pain will be exorcised, the answer is intangible, the coping is eternal, there is not usually a happy ending, we are all alone, whether we like it or not, but we are resilient coping beasts that try to get on with a piss poor existence, because we are better than the drink and depression that tears us apart, every single breath of our existence.
The bills mount up, and each letter received is another fearful encounter, mortgage repayments snap at your heels and day to day living becames a spiral of earning and paying to exist. I have lost hope so many times, and given up, but I have risen above all that, I have seen the state of our country and how it is in such a horrendous state, and wished I could rally against the ineptitude and realised how older I am, and wished the students said they have had enough and march, but they don’t, they capitulate and become the system!
So when old worn out broadcasters like Gerry Ryan and maybe me lose faith and everything becomes tired, then the bastards who destroyed our country win, so lets not let them win, maybe we can, Phoenix like, emerge from the Cocoon and challenge the system and challenge, like we all have the potential to do so, the inadequacies of this country and flourish as independent, vocal, powerful voices for equality and balance, where all people are treated like they have rights, are part of society, and are acknowledged as equal human beings.
Misery, lonliness and depression are not the preserve of any one grouping, it’s a human condition, whiskey is not a band aid of convenience, it or it’s a equivilant is a measure of the isolation or misery that people absorb and encounter daily, who you love is irrelevant, its how you love and how that emotion is reciprocated, but depression and how you react to it is massive, and to that end, be positive and love even though most of the time its fleeting and transient!